I bet he comes in French.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
