Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
4 words: hood of his car
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
