youre lurking in front of me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
