sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
