Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
