even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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