Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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