Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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