You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
