At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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