It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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