You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need a burrito and a hug.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
