You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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