Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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