2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
