how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
