So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
