Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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