just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
