The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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