just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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