doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
