No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize