My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
