I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
