You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
