Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
