Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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