Don't you send me to vm
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
