I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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