swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
