Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Say something about gay babies.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
