i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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