they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
