nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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