have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
