thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
