When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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