You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
