After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
