evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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