I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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