I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
