Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
