He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
