so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
