Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
