I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
