i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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