he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
