No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
