bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
