week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
