This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
