He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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