Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize