you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your mouth is God's brothel.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
