it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
