would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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