Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
