Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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