I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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