Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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