That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
