White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
