Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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