I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
