that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize