some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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