Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
