so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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